I've been Revived!

I frequently am unhappy with myself, especially with my productivity level and the 'little' I seem to have achieved with my life. Its as if inside me is this very creative being waiting to be let out with the right tools and knowledge. I have always been aware of this and I also have always been aware of the outside part of me that tires easily, makes minimum effort, is shy and thinks people should 'discover' her. 

For example, I rarely publicize this blog page and I even removed it from my twitter bio page. I'm self-sabotaging. I make excuses for my shortcomings and keep what's inside me permanently there.

Since 2006 I've been craving to run a business of my own yet I take no step to actualize it. We are almost in 2016 and its the same old, broke me. Why?

Part of this, I acknowledge is laziness although i'm tempted to give a large chunk of it to fear. The Nigerian climate is not the friendliest and I don't have an endless pocket. But recently I've been looking at another aspect of this 'deadlock' and its know-how. I have rudimentary knowledge of creative writing and clothes-making, for each time I try to do something wow-worthy with these knowledge and it does not come out that way, I'm sad and stumped. So I started going online (well, to other places apart from Facebook,  Nairaland and Twitter), I joined www.naijastories.com, I bookmarked a lot of DIY clothing sites and so on. I'm learning but its slow so I get bored and go back to the 'deadlock' state. 

I was on twitter checking out links from tweeps when I saw this story by http://asemota.posterous.com and I felt like the laziest person in the world because truly I am more of the Nigerian group than the South African group. i don't want to be. While I may never learn coding or be tech-savvy, I could use social media more profitable and, more importantly, I could use my time better. I'm writing this to impress it on me that I need to sit up and be doing. Who knows what I may make of my under-achieving self?